Pages

ONLINE DATING: THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE GHOST

Monday, 22 May 2017


For the last few months at the suggestion of friends, I have been actively trying online dating. In this time I have met a number of interesting people, learnt some valuable lessons and recently come to the conclusion that I am just not cut out for the modern age of online dating. 

The first site I tried was Tinder but I quickly came to the realisation that we weren't meant to be. Too much of it seemed to be based solely around appearance and to be honest, it all felt incredibly shallow. This, coupled with the fact that most of the men I met just seemed to be looking for a quick hook up, lead us to part ways. 

Feeling discouraged, but not entirely without hope, I then moved onto Plenty of Fish. I preferred this to Tinder as you were able to fill out a profile of yourself, as well as read what others had written on theirs. There seemed less room for crossed wires as you could specify exactly what you were  and weren't  looking for. Upon completing my profile I was inundated with messages, with it becoming patently clear that most hadn't bothered to even read what I had written about myself. The other high proportion of messages I received were overtly sexual and a tiny minority messaged with something insightful to say in response to what I had written. 

During my time online I went on nearly a dozen dates, most petering out with mutual agreement after the first date. Some men I would see for a while before being ‘ghosted’ or it would quickly become clear that they were only after one thing, despite what their profiles had stated. 

The thing I struggled with the most were all of the unwritten rules surrounding online dating. I was continuously told that I should expect the man that I am dating to also be seeing multiple women at the same time, as well as sleeping with them. To expect anything else and I was far too highly strung, as well as archaic in my approach. 

But when did it become normal to be seeing multiple people at the same time for months on end? When did it become unreasonable to expect someone to only see you after a certain period of time? At which point should you expect them to stop shopping around? We're not talking about marriage proposals or moving in together here, just simply concentrating on one person at a time and seeing where it goes. 

I hated the sweet shop mentality and the fact that you are only as interesting as it takes them to click on another profile. I would be seeing a man for a couple of months and think things were going great, only to see them back on the dating site scouting out other women. I'd find myself getting silently annoyed if the man I had been seeing intimately for what I considered to be a substantial amount of time, was still perusing dating sites and hooking up with other women. But if I mentioned this to anyone I would be shot down with words such as 'desperate' and 'clingy'. It used to be a given that you only saw one person at a time out of respect; now the expectations have reversed and if you dare to begin taking something seriously after a good few dates or months, you are positively insane. 

Above all what I disliked the most was the fact that I was beginning to be influenced into changing my standards and morals. I’d go on a couple of dates with a seemingly lovely, genuine guy but I would find myself slipping back into browsing through profiles thinking I could find someone that bit more attractive or intelligent. If everyone else is doing it, then why shouldn't I?

It dawned on me this past weekend that I shouldn't be changing my standards, nor lowering them to fit someone else. Actions speak far louder than words and this couldn't be more true in regards to online dating. Maybe I will find myself back online at some point, but for now I am keeping my dating life firmly offline.

83 comments :

  1. Just the way I have expected. Your website really is interesting.
    dating site tips

    ReplyDelete
  2. We got started with HowAboutWe last August (2009). We had decided we wanted to build a big business that would make people's lives better and help people to do what they already want to do. We had tons of ideas but HowAboutWe was the best one. singlebörse 50 plus kostenlos

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thankyou for this wondrous post, I am happy I watched this site on yippee.
    voyance audiotel

    ReplyDelete
  4. As the quote says "No man can be an island," we all need a companion to accompany us in our life. They can become our way to obtain strength and also the person we can easily confide in, but not everyone is fortunate enough to fulfill the companion that they match with easily. There are those who are shy to be around people, however dreams to be with a partner. This is the good thing about paid dating sites local personals. You are able to fulfill the woman or man you have always wanted and have to activate together.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi,
    online dating is the best way to find someone for dating and relationship. Meet millions of girls & guys. Dating with them who are looking for love, friendship, chat and relationships. Join Now with Free and Meet girls & guys at online dating website. Please visit our site https://flirtalarm24.com/

    ReplyDelete
  6. I haven't any word to welcome this post.....Really
    russian women personals inbox

    ReplyDelete
  7. Never make assumptions about people who you have never met and always be polite when talking to other singles.https://dubaiescortstars.com/

    ReplyDelete
  8. The best agencies for online dating will charge a fair amount to its members. Others do not even charge a cent. You have the option to go for the service that you feel is most appropriate. One thing that you are guaranteed of is fun. www.datingrussia.net

    ReplyDelete
  9. Join our Albuquerque dating site, view free personal ads of single people and talk with them in chat rooms in a real time.
    If you want to know more, Please check out here: albuquerque personals

    ReplyDelete
  10. Make sure you too are not stretching the truth, it could lead to being in a pickle further on down the line. Most importantly, make sure you have the potential to get on.meet Atlanta on-line personals

    ReplyDelete
  11. On the off chance that you are desolate now, wouldn't you pay $20 or less a month in the event that you were let you know could meet the lady you had always wanted? Obviously you would. ukonlinedatingdirectory.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. However, sooner or later in your seeking of an online date match, you will find that the person you are responding to will desire to know what you look like and likely before any physical meeting. navigate here

    ReplyDelete
  13. You need to begin a great deal of agreeable discussions. While you are online at the shop counter getting your noon sandwich simply solicit the general population in front from you and behind you what they are getting. Andre

    ReplyDelete
  14. If the first date is not a roaring success, should you agree to another? Daters are very strictly in one camp or the other over this one. tao of badass

    ReplyDelete
  15. Online dating has some pros and cons. You can experiment for as a new experience. Visit asian escort new york to date with beautiful and hot girls.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Of course, everything seems to be booming on the Internet, meaning people have more opportunities than ever before to shop, find information, and meet other people. InterracialDating

    ReplyDelete
  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Great post yet I was thinking about whether you could compose a litte more on this subject? I"d be exceptionally grateful in the event that you could expound a tad bit further. Value it! russian girl stereotypes

    ReplyDelete
  19. Those who usually get married were childhood friends who grew up together and habitually interacted without a chaperone transgender dating sites

    ReplyDelete
  20. This advice goes back to the "Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus" insights. Many times, men communicate literally, and women communicate emotionally. Often times, couples are not at all in the same realm when they communicate. The wise husband understands, and knows, when to enter and stay in the wife's communication realm. Ohio singles

    ReplyDelete
  21. Do not pressure a woman to have sex. Regardless of how you feel about a particular woman, it is inappropriate to pressure a woman to have sex at anytime. http://dubaiadultescorts.com/

    ReplyDelete
  22. Images entirely on your internet site even when creating awareness swiftly a small amount of sum submits. Rewarding technique for lasting upcoming, I will be book-marking at that time grow to be the surface area end develops inches upwards inches. nigerian fraud

    ReplyDelete
  23. Show signs of improvement sex with Chennai Escorts Services

    I discovered the versatile no of Chennai Escorts Services on the web and booked a sizzling stunner named Chennai Escorts Angels. My choice was totally in view of my experience and inclinations. I generally have an awesome enthusiasm for tall reasonable babes with thin body and she fell in that class.

    I requested full measured pizza and Scotch bourbon to set myself up for an awesome sentimental experience. Of course, Angels went ahead time precisely at 9 P.M. I loved the demonstrable skill of Chennai Escorts they appear on time and give the heavenly execution on the bed. Consumer loyalty is their best need and they do what they say. This is the reason I extremely like Chennai Escort Services. ChennaiEscortsAngels was magnificent, she fulfilled my sexual wants as well as carried on like a sweetheart. She was profoundly taught, all around mannered and master in lovemaking. Her sweet covered talks inspired me. We had an incredible time chatting with each other and I guaranteed her to meet again soon.

    One night isn't sufficient for a sentimental adventure; however it incidentally satisfies your physical requirement. You fulfill your sexual desires and prepares for future difficulties at work and home. A quality sex with your favored accomplice calms pressure and tension from your brain. It keeps you new, fiery and fulfilled.

    Visit at - https://www.chennaiescortsangels.com

    ReplyDelete
  24. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hues like cobalt blue and maroon can be alluring as well. Ostentatious attire or adornments are not proper for a date since it will draw the consideration far from you.daddydesiredaddydesire.review

    ReplyDelete
  26. Mumbai Escorts Hello people Welcome to the maximum famous and first-rate Call Girls organisation agency of Regional nearby Indian neighborhood in Mumbai. Our touch females organisation lately started out imparting the sensitive women to each seeking out man in Mumbai Our Call Girl Service Mumbai is specifically high-quality in Regional local Indian nearby. Mumbai Escorts Girls, Call Girls in Mumbai.Independent Call Girl Escort Service in Mumbai.Individuals compare out right here from anywhere inside the entire global to have visited and spot the sex-associated a laugh inside the location with great elements. With one of kind elements individuals evaluate out proper here, a number of the want to research the Mumbai proper right here and a few tests out for the agency provides. On the forestall of the day, you may for the final satisfactory and leisure.

    Visit My site :- http://www.Escortservicesmumbai.Com/

    Visit My site :- http://www.escortgirlinmumbai.com/

    Visit My site :- http://www.escorts69.biz/

    ReplyDelete
  27. i need this article to complete my task inside the workforce, and it has same subject together with your article. Much obliged, decent offer.
    https://mymagicbrides.com/blog/slavic-women

    ReplyDelete
  28. I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post. threesome dating

    ReplyDelete
  29. Do you believe that God loves you and are you experiencing it in your life? Many Christians believe that God loves them but they fail to tap into the blessings of the love of ดูฟรีคลิปหลุด

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hi
    Thank so much for sharing Informative blog

    My Name is Neha Singh, I read your All Blog. Your blog is very informative. Thank you for sharing Blog.
    http://www.dhruvipatel.com/
    http://www.eroticchennaiescort.com/
    http://www.majidakhan.com/
    http://southindiangirlss.com/
    http://vhighprofile.com/

    ReplyDelete
  31. There are plenty of dating agencies and introduction agencies that cater for people that hold a certain religion, people who are looking for a certain kind of relationship or just friendship, and other subsections. Visit Kelleher International for quickly response.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Being too busy at work, as a power player; scientists, politicians, businessman, celebrities, sports stars all sorts of elite and hectic individuals come and experience the unusual with our lovely ladies. New York escorts

    ReplyDelete
  33. A day spent a parks or gardens may show that you enjoy nature and the outdoors. Or a museum or concert shows that you like the arts.
    discreet dating sites

    ReplyDelete
  34. "Real dating place.if you need partner??:singlewomenI am very happy see this site."

    ReplyDelete
  35. Are you searching for someone who can refresh you then you can get best service at our Escort New York service.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Awesome blog. I enjoyed reading your articles. This is truly a great read for me. I have bookmarked it and I am looking forward to reading new articles. Keep up the good work! Best Interracial Dating sites

    ReplyDelete
  37. Dating achievement can be yours - simply continue onward. Notwithstanding an awful date, keep your button up, appreciate conversing with somebody sparkly and new and after that continue dating.Virginia singles

    ReplyDelete
  38. Besides some of the people who are on online dating sites, who gives the worst Dating advice? Let me think for a second...

    ReplyDelete
  39. I truly value the sort of themes you post here. A debt of gratitude is in order for sharing us an awesome data that is really useful. Great day!
    free dating sites

    ReplyDelete
  40. A simple bookmarking tool that makes it easy to save, organize and share your favorite web pages. Access your bookmarks from any computer, phone or tablet. Listango works on all modern web browsers… break ups

    ReplyDelete
  41. I just couldn't leave your website before telling you that I truly enjoyed the top quality info you present to your visitors? Will be back again frequently to check up on new posts. escort hong kong

    ReplyDelete
  42. Free Chaturbate Token Generator is the most reliable way of getting free cams tokens anytime and your best chance for watching as many cam shows as you want! Check the way appreciated by milions of users! chaturbate token generator

    ReplyDelete
  43. On the off chance that you are forlorn currently, wouldn't you pay $20 or less multi month on the off chance that you were let you know could meet the lady you had always wanted?https://gloriousbride.com/

    ReplyDelete
  44. How do you tell if it's time to sleep with your new boyfriend, or if you should put off sex until a later date? Do you ever worry that you will ruin your relationship by getting him in the sack too soon? How do you know if he's really into you, or just looking for sex? You're not the only woman to ponder these questions. The answers are all very good reasons to put off having sex with your new guy until you know how the relationship is shaping up. 7 tips for online hookup for single parent

    ReplyDelete
  45. If you wish to renovate your kitchen, but can't discover appropriate home items: these products with great brands are costly and the inexpensive types have poor quality. This makes several customers worried: how they could get great kitchen materials without paying much money. Is there any methods? Following visiting several specialists, here I reveal some money-saving techniques with you. https://brandedkitchen.com/product/waring-pro-professional-electric-martini-maker-blackchrome/

    ReplyDelete
  46. This is one awesome blog article.Really thank you! Keep writing. Vip Escort in Lahore

    ReplyDelete
  47. Very nice article, I enjoyed reading your post, very nice share, I want to twit this to my followers. Thanks!. arab dating site

    ReplyDelete
  48. Thanks for the blog loaded with so many information. Stopping by your blog helped me to get what I was looking for. russian wife

    ReplyDelete
  49. The works so flawlessly made. They are recently overwhelming.
    sugar daddy online dating websites

    ReplyDelete
  50. Does he like fries? It is safe to say that she is a pig? It is safe to say that he is delicate, adoring and minding? It is safe to say that she is understanding and practical?his secret obsession James Bauer

    ReplyDelete
  51. Be that as it may, when men are surveyed, they regularly refer to similar factors again and again as being inconvenient to the relationship. seksitreffit.cam

    ReplyDelete
  52. "Honestly, you look like a girl to me. Your mannerisms, inflection and idiom are all feminine in the truest sense. I really wasn't paying attention to the title of your video, I just clicked on the cute girl in the thumbnail because I'm a man and that's what we do. So yeah, you're that convincing. I'm not trying to be mean, btw. It's a compliment.
    As for telling a straight guy you like that you're a transwoman...yikes. I'd be terrified in your shoes since rejection feels like a stab in the heart. But there's really no way around that considering the position you're in. I don't think there's an easy answer. And to be honest with how younger guys are these days there's no way of judging how they'd react. A lot of them are already insecure what with 'toxic masculinity' being pounded into them. They might totally flip out, or they might not understand and personalize things to where they question themselves and withdraw. They might even internalize it. There's just no way of knowing.
    I do have a suggestion though; right now in your life there's a guy who's interested in you. He's older, not your type, whatever. If he's not a jerk, give him a chance. But what do I know, this is just one straight dude's perspective."
    Regards: Eve Hunt

    ReplyDelete
  53. Begin by making inquiries "What would i be able to add to my dates?" What you get from any dating circumstance will change when you acknowledge yourself.useful reference

    ReplyDelete
  54. This is such a great resource that you are providing and you give it away for free. I love seeing blog that understand the value of providing a quality resource for free. chat rooms texas

    ReplyDelete
  55. Are you looking for Escorts in Dubai or in Bur, Dubai, You can enjoy the best service by spending on the better services you will be able to find. Additionally, the more you spend, the services shall be of a longer duration and similarly, you will get the best models as well. To conclude, it all has to do with how much you are willing to spend. Contact rainbowpeaches.com for best and reliable service in whole Dubai.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Whenever you get in touch with the busty Dubai Pakistani escorts, ensure to make love with them. They’re free minded and ready to perform any sexual pose that could drive you crazy. The madness in their love relationship that individuals can cherish would be exclusive. So, try out doing every possible thing that makes you feel great. Getting in touch with these partners is simply amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  57. The initial moves towards effective relationship dating guidance for singles is to go out and date themselves so as to get the opportunity to see one another,click here

    ReplyDelete
  58. Good way of telling, and pleasant article to obtain information concerning my presentation subject, which i am going to convey in institution of higher education
    Regards:https://www.techlazy.com/free-movie-streaming-sites-no-sign-up-required/

    ReplyDelete
  59. Good way of telling, and pleasant article to obtain information concerning my presentation subject, which i am going to convey in institution of higher education
    Regards:https://www.techlazy.com/websites-to-watch-free-movies-online-without-downloading/

    ReplyDelete
  60. Thanks for the good writeup. It if truth be told used
    to be a amusement account it. Glance advanced to more brought agreeable
    from you! However, how can we keep in touch?
    regards:https://www.techlazy.com/live-tv-streaming-sites/

    ReplyDelete
  61. Besides, dating is additionally only for hanging out. This implies, dating with at least one mates or a gathering of companions that comprises of various genders or both genders only an amusement. The sets will exist for just one single dating.https://www.adultdatingsites.review

    ReplyDelete
  62. Meet my escorts girls in JBR Dubai. Largest selection of Sexy escort girls near JBR, alnahda and marina. female escort area we have young ladies from various nations all young ladies are exceptionally experienced. Call us: +971557108383. Visit: http://www.escortssouq.com/

    ReplyDelete
  63. There are also a number of cases where the developer is seen to offer possession; but despite a gap of more or less a year between custody and transference of the deed, some banks have not agreed to sponsor the project during this period. meet christian friends

    ReplyDelete
  64. Some fundamental abilities are not learned in families. A ton of work and abilities are required in cozy connections. Interchanges, trust, tuning in, penance and genuineness issues emerge during the dating time frame.muslim singles

    ReplyDelete
  65. Thanks for writing such a good article, I stumbled onto your blog and read a few post. I like your style of writing... Kentucky singles

    ReplyDelete
  66. Wow! Such an amazing and helpful post this is. I really really love it. It's so good and so awesome. I am just amazed. I hope that you continue to do your work like this in the future also sexy women

    ReplyDelete
  67. You know that people with a lot of fast working for a long time work under the service of the underworld whose profits are more than the sixth of Bigness’s people so that you may work on Bangalore May Best Honor Kailua, due to which the Bangalore May demand too much To the girls

    https://www.payalpandya.com
    https://www.payalpandya.com/about.html
    https://www.payalpandya.com/services.html
    https://www.payalpandya.com/gallery.html
    https://www.payalpandya.com/blog.html
    bangalore escorts
    escorts in Bangalore
    bangalore escorts service
    bangalore escorts agency
    call girls in bangalore
    vips girls in bangalore
    independent bangalore escorts
    modal girls in bangalore

    ReplyDelete
  68. You know that people with a lot of fast working for a long time work under the service of the underworld whose profits are more than the sixth of Bigness’s people so that you may work on Bangalore May Best Honor Kailua, due to which the Bangalore May demand too much To the girls

    https://www.hotaleena.com/
    https://www.hotaleena.com/about-Us.html
    https://www.hotaleena.com/services.html
    https://www.hotaleena.com/price.html
    https://www.hotaleena.com/gallery.html
    https://www.hotaleena.com/blog/
    https://www.hotaleena.com/contact-us.html
    bangalore escorts
    escorts inBangalore
    bangalore escorts service
    bangalore escorts agency
    call girls in bangalore
    vips girls in bangalore
    independent bangalore escorts
    modal girls in bangalore

    ReplyDelete
  69. Due to Most Welcome, Bangalore City is Happy Time in the My Company Gate, it was a festival offer that came to be selected from the last Party of the City of Bangalore City Day if both were guided, then the be works were Resolutions of upper class girls.

    https://www.ritudubey.com/
    https://www.ritudubey.com/about.php
    https://www.ritudubey.com/services.php
    https://www.ritudubey.com/gallery.php
    https://www.ritudubey.com/rates.php
    https://www.ritudubey.com/blog/
    https://www.ritudubey.com/contact.php
    bangalore escorts
    escorts in Bangalore
    bangalore escorts service
    bangalore escorts agency
    call girls in bangalore
    vips girls in bangalore
    independent bangalore escorts
    modal girls in bangalore

    ReplyDelete
  70. Hi My Name is Soniya Roy (+971586145811) at I read your all Blog. Your blog is very informative. When and where you want, our friendly and beautiful Abu Dhabi Escorts are there for you with their in-call or out call services. For more details please visit here.Thank You for Sharing Blog.

    Abu Dhabi Escort
    Abu Dhabi Escorts
    Escorts In Abu Dhabi
    Abu Dhabi Escorts Agency
    Abu Dhabi Escorts Service
    Abu Dhabi Female Escorts
    Abu Dhabi Model Escorts
    Abu Dhabi Sexy Escorts
    Abu Dhabi Independent Escorts
    Indian Escorts In Abu Dhabi
    Independent Escorts In Abu Dhabi
    Female Escorts In Abu Dhabi
    Abu Dhabi Call Girls

    ReplyDelete
  71. Hi, This is Maya kaur from Abu Dhabi +971586145811. If you are looking for a high profile independent Abu Dhabi Escort at your place or my place then call me. I am very sexy and naughty. I will make your mode within 10 mins only. I am waiting for you baby. Click here to visit my site:

    Indian Abu Dhabi Escort
    Abu Dhabi Escorts
    Escorts In Abu Dhabi
    Abu Dhabi Escorts Agency
    Abu Dhabi Escorts Service
    Abu Dhabi Female Escorts
    Abu Dhabi Model Escorts
    Abu Dhabi Sexy Escorts
    Abu Dhabi Independent Escorts
    Indian Escorts In Abu Dhabi
    Independent Escorts In Abu Dhabi
    Female Escorts In Abu Dhabi
    Abu Dhabi Call Girls

    ReplyDelete
  72. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  73. I am Reha Singh,+971 5232 67101 I am studying engineering. Being a hot girl, it is easy for me to seduce men and make them my lovers. I am up for different types of sexual positions as well and can accompany for several places. If you want to take me out of the city, let me know in advance so that I can make appropriate arrangements.

    Dubai Escort
    Dubai Escorts
    Escorts In Dubai
    Dubai Escorts Agency
    Dubai Escorts Service
    Dubai Female Escorts
    Dubai Model Escorts
    Dubai Sexy Escorts
    Dubai Independent Escorts
    Indian Escorts In Dubai
    Independent Escorts In Dubai
    Female Escorts In Dubai
    Dubai Call Girls

    ReplyDelete
  74. Hi I am Ariswami Patel 22 yrs old Indian girl living in Dubai. I can be your travel companion for today. If you are looking for smart and beautiful travel partner I will be the best choice for you. Contact me on +971523267101.
    Indian Escort Girl In Dubai
    Indian Escort Service In Dubai

    ReplyDelete